I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
