did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
