They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
