erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
