she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
