somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
