it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
