Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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