I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
