Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
