Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hippo gnu deer
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
