Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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