Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
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