quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize