If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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