You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
