Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
