I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
