my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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