Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
