The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
