its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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