is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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