Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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