Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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