that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
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