OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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