Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
