idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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