this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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