So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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