Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
