I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
