white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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