just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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