I hate all girls vehemently.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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