so that wasnt chicken after all
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no you cant smoke seaweed
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
