I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
