1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
