seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
