dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize