Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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