I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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