my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
