Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
