haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize