Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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