Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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