I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
