omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
