Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
