the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
