dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
