Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
