the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
