just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
