like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
