i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Lo siento on account of my penis...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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