You're my little dorito
id be glad to
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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