all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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