I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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