The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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