I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize