a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
