I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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