New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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